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Zen Wisdom  
11:26am 17/01/2007
 
 
sang_real0922

This is from another email I got from my mom. It's a good laugh.



Zen Wisdom

Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead
Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow.
Do not walk beside me either.
Just pretty much leave me the hell alone.

It's always darkest before dawn.
So, if you're going to steal your neighbor's newspaper,
that's the time to do it.

Sex is like air -
It's not important unless you aren't getting any.

If you think nobody cares if you're alive,
try missing a couple of car payments.

Before you criticize someone,
you should walk a mile in their shoes.
That way, when you criticize them,
you're a mile away, and you have their shoes.

If at first you don't succeed,
skydiving is not for you.

Give a man a fish, and he will eat for a day.
Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a
boat and drink beer all day.

If you lend someone $20
and never see that person again, it was worth it.

Don't worry -
It only seems kinky the first time.

Good judgment comes from bad experience,
and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.

There are two theories about arguing with women.
Neither one works.

Experience is something you don't get
until just after you need it.

Never, under any circumstances,
take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

location: Home
mood: amused amused
music: The Red Strokes ~ Garth Brooks
 
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Did You Know?  
10:45am 17/01/2007
 
 
sang_real0922
This is some information that I got in an email from my mom that I'd like to pass on.

Drinking two (2) glasses of Gatorade can relieve headache pain almost immediately without the unpleasant side effects caused by traditional 'pain relievers'

Colgate toothpaste makes an excellent salve for burns.

Before you head to the drugstore for a high - priced inhaler filled with mysterious chemicals (ex. Vick's Stik), try chewing on a couple of curiously strong Altoids peppermints. They'll clear up your stuffed nose.

Achy muscles from a bout of the flu? Mix 1 Tablespoon of horseradish in 1 cup of olive oil. Let the mixture sit for 30 minutes then apply it as a massage oil for instant relief of aching muscles.

Sore throat? Just mix 1/4 cup of vinegar with 1/4 cup of honey and take 1 Tablespoon six (6) times a day. The vinegar kills the bacteria while the honey coats the throat to relieve the pain.

Cure urinary tract infections with Alka - Seltzer. Just dissolve two (2) tablets in a glass of water and drink it at the onset of symptoms. Alka - Seltzer begins eliminating urinary tract infections almost instantly - even though the product was never advertised for this use. (Note: Alka - Seltzer Plus Cold Medicine is NOT the same and contains aspirin which can cause stomach bleeding if you have ulcers.)

Honey remedy for skin blemishes!
Cover the blemish with a dab of honey and place a Band - Aid over it. Honey kills the bacteria, keeps the skin sterile, and speeds healing. Works overnight.

Listerine therapy for toenail fungus. Get rid of unsightly toenail fungus by soaking your toes in Listerine mouthwash. The powerful antiseptic leaves your toenails looking healthy again.

Easy eyeglasses protection! To prevent the screws in eyeglasses from loosening, apply a small drop of Maybelline Crystal Clear nail polish to the threads of the screws before tightening them.

Coca - Cola cure for rust. Forget those expensive rust removers. Just saturate an abrasive sponge with Coca - Cola and scrub the rust stain. The phosphoric acid in the Coke is what gets the job done.

Cleaning liquid that doubles as bug killer. If menacing bees, wasps, hornets, or yellow jackets get in your home and you can't find the insecticide, try a spray of Formula 409, Insects drop to the ground instantly.

Smart splinter remover. Just pour a drop of Elmer's Glue - All over the splinter, let dry, and peel the dried glue off the skin. The splinter sticks to the dried glue.

Hunt's tomato paste boil cure. Cover the boil with Hunt's tomato paste as a compress. The acids from the tomatoes soothe the pain and bring the boil to a head.

Balm for broken blisters. To disinfect a broken blister, dab on a few drops of Listerine..........a powerful antiseptic.

Heinz vinegar to heal bruises. Soak a cotton ball in white vinegar and apply it to the bruise for one (1) hour. The vinegar reduces the blueness and speeds up the healing process.

Kills fleas instantly! Dawn dish washing liquid does the trick. Add a few drops to your dog's bath and shampoo the animal thoroughly. Rinse well to avoid skin irritations. Goodbye fleas!

Rainy day cure for dog odor! Next time your dog comes in from the rain, simply wipe down the animal with Bounce or any dryer sheet, instantly making your dog smell Springtime fresh.

Eliminate ear mites. All it takes is a few drops of Wesson corn oil in your cat's ear. Massage it in then clean it with a cotton ball. Repeat daily for three (3) days. The oil soothes the cat's skin, smothers the mites, and accelerates healing.

Quaker Oats for fast pain relief! It's not just for breakfast anymore! Mix 2 cups Quaker Oats and 1 cup water in a bowl and warm in the microwave for 1 minute. Cool slightly and apply the mixture to your hands for soothing relief from arthritis pain.
location: Home
mood: contemplative contemplative
music: When You Come Back to Me Again ~ Garth Brooks
 
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